Three of Swords

I wrote ‘Three of Swords’ last summer. It’s melodramatic and full of rage and hysteria. There are some very specific details and some more overarching sentiments. It was a very cathartic process writing and recording this but now it serves as a slightly unwelcome memory. But also a lesson learnt and I’m very proud of the songs and the depth of the production, and development in the sound. I think it shows the growth in my confidence as a songwriter and a performer, and in myself -being more vocal and outward, rather than internalising everything.

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Not Enough

The final track on ‘Three of Swords’, ‘Not Enough’ is its decisive conclusion. Deliberation over, it’s about embracing righteous rage and darkness. Acknowledging a mismatch morally, the lyrics are dripping with resentment and bitter disappointment. We went pretty huge with the production on this one…I think Jake was just happy to hear the end of this particular story in my life and wanted to put a really emphatic ‘full stop, done, over’ on it. I love how heavy it is!

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Too Much

‘Too Much’ is about feeling conflicted, going over things again and again in your mind. Back and forth, obsessing, trapped. Eventually exploding in an outburst you grow to regret – cathartic, but costing your dignity. There’s a duality throughout the track – between the verses, with the sweetness of the guitar part and the Rhodes piano, and the fury and exasperation of the final chorus. And in the lyrics, too – I like the sad desperation but also cruelty in the line “I don’t want these memories”. The live drums, played by my friend Mike Cosburn, hold it all together beautifully.

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Zelda Mae

Zelda Mae is about giving up on someone and, in doing so, finally breaking out from under their spell. Waking up from a trance and realising what you were putting yourself through, and everything that cost. Giving up can be the hardest thing to do and Zelda Mae is a release of months of hurt and sheer frustration. It’s triumphant in its sadness, a silver lining on an overcast day.

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Strangers In The Night

A supporter of my previous releases got in touch saying he was planning to propose and asked if I’d cover one of the songs that mean the most to him and his girlfriend. I said straight away “I’m doing strangers” I just knew I could do something different with it. At the time I really needed something to throw myself in to, so I spent 3 days recording it on my sofa. I wanted to make something special for Mitch and Jess, of course, but really, I did it for a girl… I poured all my longing and devotion and sadness into it, and I liked it so much I took it to Jake to mix properly for release.

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Purple Road EP

My debut EP, take a stroll down the Purple Road with me…

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Nobody Knows

I wrote ‘Nobody Knows’ after my friend NUUXS released her song ‘No Good For Me’ – an anthem about cutting toxic people out of your life. It made me think about some of those people in my own life. People who, on the surface, are your friend but who actually use you as a floatation device and a punching bag – pushing you down to keep themselves up, and jabbing at you to stay sharp. I’m someone who internalises stuff and obsesses over it, who can never switch themself off – I wear my heart on my sleeve and my sleeve soaks up everything. ‘Nobody Knows’ is really a release for me of years of feeling written off and made fun of for “not doing anything” when I knew I was giving so much – parts of me these people would never give. And, because of that, feeling totally alone and like no one gets me or could ever get me…then feeling ashamed of that self-pity. It’s brooding and bitter – a warning that you never really know what someone is going through or how they’re feeling, unless you ask. We are so quick to judge and condemn, these days. It’s only by taking the time to put yourself in someone else’s shoes that you can begin understand the toll it takes chasing their dream, and how hard it can be for them just to keep going – a kind of toughness that only comes from being constantly vulnerable.

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Willow

This one started out as a poem set to music really – a lullaby, after close friends had a baby girl called Willow! I wanted to paint a beautiful, peaceful image lyrically, inspired by this new life, a new beginning, and voyage into the unknown. The message is, that fundamentally, everything is going to be ok – “don’t weep for me, Willow”. It’s as much a message to me, as it is to her and makes an uplifting (and welcome!) contrast to the first two songs.

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Sinking

‘Sinking’ is about falling under someone’s spell. You don’t want to – you know better – but they’ve hooked you and left you marked, intoxicated. It’s about that feeling in your stomach. The feeling that twists and churns as it hurtles towards its conclusion. Like a storm they lift you up and they let you down; they tip you over, wreck you, and they swallow you whole – Inevitable as the sea.

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You Or Nothing

‘You or Nothing’ is more of a snapshot than a story. It captures an unfamiliar feeling caught between complex emotions. I like the combination of the simple, clear sounds and the maybe-dark-maybe-sweet lyrics. There’s a holiness to it you can hold up and examine in the light, but you might not like what you find’.

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